Not Another Glee Parody
by xxWritingGirlxx
Summary: It's a totally fair parody based on the episode "Duets". There's spoilers for the episode Duets, obviously. Rated T... because I'm paranoid. It's funny... I hope.


**A/N: Hey, it's another parody of Glee! This time of the episode Duets… I love Glee, but it's so easy to make fun of! you can flame if this story sucks, I'm still not exactly sure if I'm funny or not… **

Glee Club rehearsal:

Schue: How about we do some… duets? The winners will get a gift card to BreadstiX, and best of all, we actually pick a winner for this contest!

Single people in Glee Club: Oh shit.

* * *

Hall:

Kurt: Hey, Sam!

Sam: Fjfgwdjsie. That's Wookie for hello.

Kurt: … ok… so since you dye your hair, you're obviously gay.

Sam: What?

Kurt: Nothing. Want to sing a duet together and get a dinner at BreadstiX?

Sam: Why not?

Kurt: That is so gay.

Sam: …

* * *

Finn: *being douchebaggy* Sam! You can't sing a duet with Kurt, everyone will think you're gay! YOU'LL BE STONED AND HUNG OUT TO DRY!

Sam: Yeah, you realize we're only performing the duets in front of the glee club, right? Not the whole school?

Finn: Shh, you're ruining the moment.

Sam: …

* * *

Library:

Tina: Asian.

Mike: Asian.

Tina: ASIAN!

Mike: Fine.

* * *

Glee Club room:

Finchel: *sing duet* WE'RE GONNA WIN!

Rachel: I'm such a bitch.

Finn: Nah… actually, yeah, can't argue there.

Rachel: Shut up, I'm having a moment. LET'S THROW THE COMPETITION!

Finn: Yeah, let's be terrible so Sam wins! Then he'll be soooo popular!

Rachel: … yeah, you realize we're forgetting everyone hates Glee Club, so if he wins, he'll probably be less popular.

Finn: Now you're just ruining your self-redemption.

Rachel: Oh, never mind then!

* * *

Cafeteria:

Finn: You. Can't. Sing. A. Duet. With. Sam.

Kurt: … why not, it's not like it's in front of the whole school.

Finn: Shut up. As I was saying, Sam will be ruined. HE'LL GET BURNED AT THE STAKE!

Kurt: Sam's gay anyway. One glance at THE HAIR and you can't deny it!

Finn: Stereotypes.

Kurt: Shut up.

* * *

Locker room:

Sam: Since I am not a douche, I will honor my humble commitment to Kurt.

Finn: *cough*gay*cough*

Sam: What?

Finn: Nothing! I'M NOT A HOMOPHONE! *runs out*

Sam: What the hell just happened?

* * *

Lockers:

Santana: Mercedes, sing a duet with me. WE BE GOING TO BREADSTIX!

Mercedes: What's the big deal about BreadstiX?

Santana: Breadsticks. Food.

Mercedes: OMG, food? LET'S DO THIS!

* * *

Kurt's home:

Kurt: Dad, I'm pulling out of the duet competition.

Burt: I'm proud of you, son, you won't let Finn's subtle homophobia get to you- wait, WHAT?

Kurt: Speaking of which, where does he live now that you kicked him out?

Burt: Eh, he was probably homeless for a while, but he came back a week ago! How did you not notice…?

Kurt: Honestly, sometimes I forget we're stepbrothers.

* * *

Locker room:

Kurt: Hey, Sam, don't mind my camera. How's the shower?

Sam: Well, this is awkward. Why do people in this school always come in when other people are showering?

Kurt: Anyway, I'm pulling out of the duet competition. Your hair color will be the only thing left to bully you about besides your lips.

Sam: …

Sam: Wait, my hair color's real!

Kurt: …right.

* * *

Hall:

Brittany: Artie. Let's do a duet.

Artie: Why not? Just whatever you do, DON'T have sex with me!

Brittany: I promise.

* * *

Artie's room:

Brittany: For our duet, we're gonna do it.

Everyone watching Glee: Secretly wonders if the entire episode's premise was only so they could use that line.

* * *

Hall:

Artie: Dammit Brittany, why didn't you stop me?

Brittany: You realize I wasn't the only one willing… otherwise it wouldn't have happened.

Artie: … that was actually pretty logical.

Brittany: Yeah, but we shun logic! Besides, Lord Tubbington told me to say that when he was high.

Artie: GET OUTTA HERE! I'll probably want you back later, but ANGST! You clearly used me for my voice, even though I was going to sing with you before we even had sex!

Brittany: Did the big unicorn in the sky tell you that? Because he lies a lot- I mean… NOOO ANGST!

* * *

Glee Club room:

Glee Club: *votes*

Rachel: Well, if I'd known we were going to vote ourselves, we could've just voted for Sam instead of doing all that work-

Finn: Shh, don't be logical.

Schue: QUINN AND SAM WIN! This wasn't done in an obvious attempt to get you to date and start an awkward love triangle, I SWEAR!

* * *

BreadstiX:

Quinn: The premise of this episode being everyone loves the breadsticks here, THEY SUCK! I don't like you, by the way.

Sam: I know, but I'm still going to forcibly pursue you. PWEASE LIKE ME?

Quinn: Never. The last time I fell in love, I got pregnant.

Sam: That was basically a one night stand because you felt fat.

Quinn: Whatever, not the point.

Sam: You know, I actually dyed my hair. And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling kid Kurt Hummel and his gaydar!

Quinn: OMG, I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU!

THE END.


End file.
